I have no idea what the fuck you are talking about.  Get a life. We have a box labelled "Jack cables" and we just use them, although I've no idea who Jack actually was.

Fuck no, it didn't come as any surprise to me.  At first Moritz used to ask us for a practice amp in his hotel room each night, but as the band progressed and got bigger so did his errrm demands in this way.  In the end we had to put a full 4 stack backline is his bedroom to cope with this appetite for things, well, electrical.  Of course we all thought he was practicing his guitar at the time, which is probably why he was shit hot on stage, but eventually we got a few clues, like finding holes in the speaker cloth in odd places and the like. 

Oh, fuck off.  Next.

What?  Can you remember exactly what you were saying 21 years ago you prat.  Fuck off.

A good question.  There are alot of fucking nancy boys involved these days who are recruited in large numbers from mainly eastern Europe.  They really care for their bodies and exercise and watch what they eat, and so on.  I think they are ruining the whole image.  I mean, what's next?  Is Lemmy going to start dressing smartly and drinking Pimss?  It's just not rock'n'roll.  I still have a 46 inch tummy and I'm proud of it.  I've got a pint of lager by me right now and a packet of Malboro's.  Never did me any harm, it's just part of the roadies uniform, you know.

Yeah, mainly because for most of the time with Jim and Moritz's outfit I worked with Wally Blackshaw.  He was a bit of a head case even before he joined us, having spent some time in a errrm home for head cases.  I think he suffered from some kind of paranoid affliction, mentally.  Anyway you can imagine how this effected him whilst trying to setup on stage.  There he is trying to tape down some cables or something in front of the audience before the band came on, and people are shouting "Wally" and Wally keeps turning around and saying "yeh?" and then more of the audience join in.  In the end it just got too much for him and he had to quit.  I think he's still around somewhere near Hastings, probably still hearing people shouting Wally, the fuck.

At last a decent technical question.  I don't really like the modern duck tapes that are available, I prefer just ordinary black, but some bloody techy management gurus want you to put different colours in different areas to signify certain things.  Like I'd have to do purple for Moritz and Red for Jim, or something like that. . You spend most of your time looking at a fucking key to who gets what colour, rather than just getting on with the job.  Also the width is important.  I prefer 3" duck rather than 1.5", which I refer to as Fuck Duck, coz it's fucking crap, Can't hold anything with 1.5", no way. 

Duck tape is amazing. I tell you, once we lost the whole bloody drum riser, it just vanished off the truck.  Steele Stem wouldn't play on the floor where no-one could see him, so we used. lightweight plastic rods covered in stock foam and wrapped it up with silver duck tape to construct a drum riser there and then.  It lasted most of the set before Steele started tilting badly to the right, and then eventually on the first encore, completely collapsed ontop of Jims backline.  God that was wonderful!

I think the "friend" who told this to you has no idea whatsoever. Don't ask such idiotic questions in future. Plug in and play, that's my motto!

Just play the damm thing! All this nonsense about messing about with the action. Who cares? If you're any good you could play anything. Get a fucking life!

I was once accosted in a bar in Greenville, South Carolina by 2 women desperate to meet Jim and Moritz. One proceeded to pinch my bottom. That's about my only experience of pinching that I can recall.

Get a life, that's my piece of advise. What are you talking about? Buy a guitar, plug it in to a decent amp and play. You are a very sad person

Just do it, and don't waste your or my time asking me such nonsense

Sack the other guitarist, if I were you. He seems to me to be a total flash git with the best gear but no ability to play through it (you can't beat Roost and Zoom in my opinion!). 7 watts does seem a bit tinny to me; I would recommend for club gigs that you have a minimum of 15 watts available

Errr, one sounds great and the other sounds fucking awful

Plug the fucking lead into the guitar, take the out-lead from your effects box, plug it into the amp, switch it on and start playing. What is your problem?

No, I don't know why!  Dick.

From Wayne Lord (Rochdale)
Taff, regarding gaffer tape, do you always use  the brand Permacel P-665. I’ve heard  it's the rock band industry tape. My band “The Zeippals” has a roadie that really likes using a different type of tape, P-672.  Trouble is, it is about double the price of P-665, but he says that it is weatherproof, twice as thick, and the adhesive designed for low temperatures.  Why do you think this would be important for us?  Should we get him to revert back to P – 665?

Well, P-665 is easy to rip with your hands yet very strong. The adhesive is also designed to not rip off paint. Once we stuck one of the smaller speaker stacks on a venue wall and left it sit for the whole day under a kilowatt of light a few inches away. The next day it peeled right off leaving the paint on and no adhesive residue.  Fantastic!  Back in the 70’s it would have pulled half the plaster off the wall.  Anyway, P-665 is good enough for me, so tell your roadie to stop being such a fucking arse and go back to the P-665

From Emily Fedoseev (Brazil)
Is it true that you were a Roadie for Judas Priest in the late 70's. If so, did you also roadie for them at Donnington in 1980? I keep hearing rumours that some film exists of Judas Priest from Donnington but I have been unable to source any so far.

Yeah, I was at Donnington 1980. When Rob came on stage, astride his enormous Harley Davidson it was an incredible sight. I've got some 8mm film of the event, plus some backstage film with April Wine, the Priest guys and Rainbow, but nothing to write home about. The quality is a bit poor, but give me your details and I'll get some of it to you on disk.