Top UK DJ, Mike Vag held a radio phone-in to celebrate the recent nominations for the 2006 Greatest Guitarist Poll. Jim and Moritz were due to attend this glittering nominations ceremony however, due to a communications failure, they both ended up in the wrong country entirely. Mike finally managed to reach Jim and Moritz and they were able to participate in the phone-in. Below is a transcript from that evenings‘ radio show:
Mike - Hey guys, is that you? Where are on earth are you?
Jim - Hi Mike, sorry to say we’re in New York
Mike - What on earth are you doing there? The nominations ceremony was held in the UK!
Moritz - We are extremely disappointed about this and I can assure you that heads will roll.
Jim - We were told the nominations announcement was due to be held at the Shea Stadium, so off we trotted to New York. We turn up at the Shea Stadium and low and behold, there’s no one in sight. All the lights are off and a rather bemused security guy tells us the next big event is due to take place in 3 months. We get back to the hotel and rechecked the itinery for the event, and that’s where we see in the small print that the event is taking place at the Shay Stadium in Halifax, West Yorkshire, UK.
Moritz - I must admit it did mention on the back of the invitation the directions as coming off Junction 24 of the M62, so we should have double checked this at the time.
Jim - I also had to endure my usual grilling with the US immigration authorities. All because 10 years ago I climbed into a Jacuzzi with 4 naked women - what a f..king liberty
Mike - Hey guys can we please mind the language; we do have a family audience you know
Jim - Sorry Mike, I do get quite worked up about these things
Mike - I’m sure it will all come out in the autobiography. When is this due out, by the way?
Jim - As soon as Andrew Rawnsley pulls his finger out
Mike - Well, let’s get back to business. Both Jim and Moritz have been included in the 2006 nominations for the Greatest Guitarist poll. How do you feel?
Moritz - I feel happier than a Messerschmitt pilot over Dunkirk
Mike - I don’t think that you are allowed to mention things like that these days
Moritz - I know the British are very sensitive about the war. In Germany we have a saying……don’t mention the war, if you’re with the British.
Jim - I am also very happy about being included in the nomination. It is a sign of great achievement
Moritz - There are some great players in the nomination list. It is an honour for me too
Mike - Who do you think will win in 2006?
Jim - There are so many great players, I would say the clear favourites are Stevie Ray Vaughan, Jimi Hendrix and Steve Morse
Moritz - Is The Edge in the list this year? If he is, then I think he’ll win by a kilometre, followed by Jeff Beck in second place.
Mike - What about you guys? Where do you think you’ll come?
Jim - I think it all comes down to the votes from the USA. If we get coverage there I think we’ll be mid table
Moritz - I’m calling on my legion of die hard European fans to get me up there. I’ll be happy if I get in the top 50
Mike - To maintain a fair result I see you’ve retained the services of the Zimbabwean Electoral Commission.
Moritz - They do a good job. They’re completely incorruptible you know!
Jim - They’re as straight as a dye. Even the gay ones!
Mike - OK, let’s take some calls. First caller on the line is Nigel.
Nigel - Thanks for letting me take part, Mike
Mike - What’s your question?
Nigel - I’m a huge Joe Satriani fan. I’ll be voting for him followed by Steve Vai. What chances do you think they’ll have this year?
Mike - Both have an outsiders chance I suppose, but I don’t think they’re good enough to win
Nigel - Come off it, these guys are mega gods
Moritz - That’s slightly exaggerated I think
Nigel - Texture, skill, emotion and feel, that’s what I rate them on
Jim - Come off it Nigel. Have you heard Steve Vai? He’s a shredder? Joe Satriani is slightly better, but only just. There’s no emotion when you’ve got the fuzz box turned up to number 11
Nigel - How dare you! You clearly have no idea what you’re talking about
Moritz - I think I’d prefer it if both Joe Sat and Steve Vai used their plectrums a bit. All this legato playing, it drives me mad. Are they unable to use their plectrum hands?
Nigel - I’m never calling into this show again. Good night
Jim - To you as well Nigel
Mike - Err thanks Nigel. I wonder how many friends that guy has, if any. Anyway the next caller is Clive
Clive - Jim, Moritz, do you think this year one of the new kids on the block will win or one of the older players.
Jim - You can’t beat the older players in my opinion. They’ve proved themselves and that’s all that matters.
Moritz - Will these young guys be around in 30 years? That is the question.
Mike - To be fair Clive, the 2006 nominations do cover mainly the older players. I don’t see many young guys on there
Clive - What about Jimmy Page?
Moritz - What?
Clive - Yeah, Jimmy Page. I’ve been following him since the mid 1990’s. He’s only 32 and I therefore would classify him as one of the younger guys in the list
Jim - Jimmy Page, 32? Clive, I have to tell you that Jimmy is about 60. I do recall on last years poll, we had someone write in saying how the music industry was all the worse following Jimmy’s death
Clive - Jimmy has died. Oh my god, when?
Jim - He’s not dead Clive. More so, he’s definitely not 32
Clive - Jim plays with style, texture, emotion and finesse
Jim - You sound like the last bloke describing Joe Satriani and Steve Vai
Clive - Do you know anything about guitar playing?
Moritz - Clearly more than you Clive
Clive - You’re just a daft Kraut
Mike - Err, thank you Clive and the next caller is John
John - Wow that last guy had a bee in his bonnet. Talk about obsessed fan. We can all do without that
Jim - I agree
John - It’s great to see that Pete Kershaw has been included in the nominations. I thought he was a colossus in the 1980 ‘s with Treason, but I think now he’s done a bit of a Ritchie Blackmore by going into a totally different musical direction.
Jim - Why Pete wants to experiment with all that Jazz nonsense, I just do not understand.
Moritz - He’s not the first to fall off the rails. Ritchie Blackmore is the number one example of someone clearly unhappy with his current sphere of music.
John - I hear that Pete Kershaw just plays Jazz clubs all over the place. With Treason he was right up there
Jim - I even saw old Pete playing at a Pizza restaurant once. I sat their eating my thin based margarita and thought where did it all go wrong?
John - Either bad management or a bad girlfriend. You’re right it’s not the first time it’s happened
Jim - What’s the name of Pete’s latest band?
John - The Hip Squad
Moritz - That is awful. I heard Pete Kershaw nearly got the gig in Whitesnake for the 1987 album. Was there any truth in that?
John - Yeah, apparently Pete blasted through ‘Fool for Your Loving’ in the key of A and David Coverdale blew his top as he could only sing it in G. Poor old Pete was given the old “err we’ll call you” comment as he left, and I think he got a bit down after that. The irony is that a few years later Coverdale played it in the key of A. Mind you, I still maintain that some of the stuff Pete pulled off in Treason was excellent. If I would describe Pete’s style I would say it was a blend of skill, speed, finesse and taste
Moritz - That sound like how those 2 blokes earlier described Jimmy Page, Joe Sat and Steve Vai
Jim - Have we run our of descriptions?
John - Anyway Pete is my outsider to win the poll this year. I’ll be shocked if he doesn’t make it into the top 10
Moritz - We can always hope John
Mike - Ok John, thanks very much. The next caller is Callum
Callum - Hello everyone. I just want to say I’ve been following Deep Purple for the last 8 years
and Steve Morse is the man for me. I’ve bought the entire Purple back catalogue and apart from the short stint fiascos with Satriani and Dave Clemson, Steve Morse has proved himself to be the most enduring guitarist for the last 38 years in Deep Purple.
Moritz - What about Ritchie Blackmore?
Callum - Well Rainbow go from strength to strength don’t they. Did anyone see Blackmore on the last Rainbow tour in 2005. I’ve heard it was incredible. I suppose Blackmore’s career has mirrored Steve Morse, but I still rate Morse as a superior player. Blackmore’s been playing with Rainbow for nearly 40 years now so I’m not surprised he won the Top Guitarist poll in 2004 and 2005
Jim - How old are you Callum?
Callum - I’m 15 years old
Moritz - I think you need to recheck some of your historical references.
Callum - I have to admit I’m not really a Rainbow fan. I mean, I like to listen to ‘Fanfare for the Common Man‘ now and again, but it doesn’t really do it for me
Jim - Oh dear.
Callum - What do you mean, oh dear?
Jim - Are you sure you’re a Deep Purple fan
Callum - Too right. I was there at the Astoria this year screaming away. What a live band.
Morse’s playing on his signature tracks, Highway Star and Black Night was incredible
Moritz - I sure that Steve Morse will be accordingly rated in the poll
Mike - Thanks Callum and the next caller is Maisy
Maisy - Hello everyone. I have a problem with my husband. He is an obsessed Eric Clapton fan. He denies this of course. He plays EC’s records all the time, he’s humming his songs all the time. Even when we have sex, I have to endure him grunting and groaning while he whispers ‘I Shot the Sheriff‘, which I have to admit is rather off putting. I’m sure my husband will put multiple votes through for Eric, but I do fear for my husbands sanity, and mine.
Moritz - do not fear, the Zimbabwean Election Monitors are there to oversee and catch any voting irregularities. The Z.E.M will come down harshly if they see any evidence of multiple voting, and of course these will be voided, including the original vote that was made. The purpose is that in 2006, we want to see without argument who is the greatest guitarist in history
Jim - I think Maisy your main concern is for your husband, rather than the poll. Please refer to the Godofguitar website as we do provide help and support for people, like your husband, who have addictions to guitarists and their music
Maisy - I’ll definitely do this. By the way Mike, is that your real surname. Vag does seem to me to be a highly unusual name
Mike - This name has made many openings in life, if you pardon the pun.
Maisy - You vulgar sexist pig
Mike - And the next caller is Dale
Dale - Yeah I just want to follow up on the Pete Kershaw discussion. Pete is a true god of guitar, and yes he may be focusing on jazz issues currently, but I do hear that the classic Treason line-up will be reforming in 2006. Watch out for the album and tour in 2007.
Jim - I’m glad to hear it. They always were an impressive band. Pete deserves better than he’s had in the last 15 years, so let’s hope that he gets a good poll result this year.
Dale - Him and Jan Cyrka were always seen as the leading British players in the early 80’s. it’s a shame they both went off the rails, as it were.
Mike - We’ve just about run out of time. Dale many thanks. Jim and Moritz, many thanks. I just want to tell you that the nominations ceremony went down a storm. I’ll send you a video of it. The best bit was when you were called upon to read out the nominations and as you weren’t there another famous player had to reveal them. Do you know who this was?
Moritz - No
Jim - Me neither
Mike - Steve Vai, via satellite link
Jim - The bastards could have done that with us from New York
Mike - On that bombshell, we’d just like to thank Jim and Moritz, and to close out the show, he’s Joe Satriani with ‘Surfing with the Alien’.
Jim - Ohh for fuck‘s sake!! 

Webchat Event December 05

Following last years successful webchat, Moritz and Jim agreed to take part in another on line conversation, in association with The German Country Life Magazine. The webchat took place on the magazines website on December 1st 2005. Here are some highlights. Thanks to Reg Fassbinder for allowing us to reproduce the webchat here:
New Entries posted 13.12.05
Q: From Dave le Douche in Quebec, Canada
“Moritz, have you ever had sex with a minor?”
Moritz – “I can confirm that I have never had sex with anyone associated with the coal industry.”
Jim – “Moritz, I don’t think Dave means that.”
Moritz – “All those coal particles on my Steifen. I would find that too uncomfortable.”
Jim – “Have you really no idea Moritz?”
Moritz – “I think I did once have a blow job from a woman who worked in the automotive industry.”
Jim – “can we have the next question please?”
 
Q: From Kevin Kack in Southwark, Nr London, UK
“Hi guys, how many women have you slept with in your career?”
Jim – “For me I would conservatively say minimum 2,000 but not at the same time.
In fact, my main boast is that I’ve had sex with 2,000+ women and had about three wanks in my career.”
Moritz – “for me it’s the opposite. In my career I’ve slept with about three women and probably had 2,000+ masturbations.”
 
Q: From Gurt Moeller in Karlsruhe, Germany
Moritz, did you celebrate Remembrance Day in the UK, this year?
Moritz – “Of course, it’s an opportunity to reflect and think about of all those who suffered and died in defending against the tyrannical dictatorship that swept through Europe in the 1940’s.”
Jim – Yeah, Adolf Hitler’s!”
Moritz – “No, Winston Churchill’s”
Jim – “Er, Moritz, I think you’re somehow wrong here.”
Moritz –“Should we consider Chamberlain’s dictatorship also?”
Jim – “Next question please”
 
Q:From Manfred, in Geneva, Switzerland.
“Hello, my name is Manfred Kuentz. I’m a fairly shit hot guitarist, however I think with my name I’ve no chance of achieving international success. Can you please advise me on what options I have?”
Jim – “You’ve got no chance with that name. You know the guitarist Slash? Yeah him, well his real name was Dennis Urine. A quick change of name and see what happens? If I were you, I’d change your name to Manfred Vagina, or something like that. Good luck!”
 
Q: From Glenn Pillock in Baltimore, USA
“You guys always criticise players like Steve Vai, Eddie van Halen and Joe Satriani, for playing what you describe as twiddly nonsense. Why don’t you ever refer to tapping techniques? Are you unable to play to this style? I thought you guys were supposed to be guitar gods?”
Moritz – “I’m glad you mention this as Ill be bringing out a new instructional DVD in the New Year covering mainly tapping techniques. Believe me, it will blow you away. In my opinion, this will set the benchmark for the next 5 years. If you’re technically crap, please don’t waste you money on this, as it will be way too advanced for most of you. Speak with you soon.”
 Jim – “See you soon everyone”
 Q: Reg Pinkehurst from Surrey asks:
What's this about you guesting with Deep Purple at the Astoria in January 06?
Jim: The trouble with the internet is the amount of rumours that spread around the globe. Some have their basis in fact and some are just complete nonsense. I think we might be coming to some agreement with the band, but Moritz has insisted he'll do it only if they agree to play the whole of "The Book of Taliesyn" album, so you'll have to wait and see. Obviously getting us involved is likely to boost ticket sales, so we would like to have an impact on the proceedings.
Q: Giovanni Smythe from Bologna asks:
Tell us a bit about the output on the new album, Village Idiot, will it form a similar progression that Inserted Gently and Mallard took?
Moritz: Adelangst have always been a progressive band, but we are not actually a progressive rock band, we just simply progress down a path that is clear to us rather than act progressively.  
Q: Ivar Uzak from Istanbul asks:
What media formats will the new album take. Will you do a SACD or DVD-Audio version?
Jim: There will be a CD, which will be round with a hole in the middle, a bit like vinyl used to be.
Q; Lata Euarly from Cyprus asks:
Obviously I’m really excited about the new album Jim, What are some of the new songs called?
Jim: I can’t remember exactly.  We’ve got “Bring your door to the Slaughter”, which is one of Moritz’s songs about an experience he had during the early 80’s. Another is called ITV which his all about the battle between Blue Peter and Magpie in the 1970’s, although this track will only be available on the limited edition vinyl copy to be released in certain cities in Poland with the Sunday edition of “Die Spzurt” magazine.
Also we are working on a sequel to the song Toe Grabber, called Toe Grabber Too, good eh!
Q: Hiegh Kwiskquiot from Israel asks:
Will the new album get a general world release at the same time?
Moritz: No, we plan to phase the release around the world. Our new record company Boulevard records plans to do slightly different versions of the CD in each country, therefore making it difficult for bootleggers. Also it means that our really keen fans have to buy loads of versions of the CD which apparently is something they like to do.
Q: Poli Wedling from Edinburgh asks
I noticed on the recent tour that the same group of fans always appeared to be on the front row. Is this something you arranged with them?
Moritz: Absolutely not! We get really fedup performing to the same people all the time, especially as they are anticipating what we do. We also have to be nice and say hi to them from the stage and mention their names, but really we can’t bear them. These guys are always around us, and although we like the attention it does get a bit much when they want to be with you the whole time and document everything you do and say. Sometimes indeed I think one or two of the fans would only be happy if they lived with me and documented everything I do. Y’know, at Ten O’clock he went for a pee. This is 10 minutes different from yesterday but only 5 minutes different from the day before. Let’s have a discussion on the Internet about all this and argue about it with other fellow lunatic fans around the world..... that sort of thing.
Q: Geoff White from Wolverhampton asks:
Hey Moritz, loved the UK gigs, I also went all the way to the USA to see you, did you see me at the Cal Jam? I was on the third turn?
Moritz: Hi Geoff, great to hear from you. Oh yes of course we did notice you on the third turn. Don’t forget to buy all the versions of the new CD Geoff and bring them along to be signed when we next make a public appearance.
Q: Nic Branch from Surrey asks:
When will the sheet music for Mallard be coming out?
Jim: Oh Next year I think Nic.
Q: Buylor Ciejje from Slovenia asks:
Are there any rare recordings due out next year?
Jim: yes we have quite a lot of activity on this front. First of all there is a box set of our famous German shows from 1982, in Cologne, Dusseldorf and Nurnberg. The setlist for each gig was exactly the same, but the concerts were all fantastic, and well worth owning. The Japanese are planning to issue the lot in a costly box set around April. The Belgians are going to release one CD a week over the month of May. The French are going to advertise them first by putting posters up around Paris and other major cities. The Germans themselves are going to release single CD tracks every month for a few years before actually putting the album out as a whole. In the UK we are likely to see a special import being available through the usual selling agencies Finally in the USA there is gong to be a vinyl only version of the record, booked for June 2012. So if you want to be the first to own this fantastic collection you need to really buy the Japanese copy, and then the rest later.
Q: Lord Wayne of Broxham-on-Sea asks:
Are you chaps still intending to do the “Intensities in Ten Sitting rooms” tour announced in 2004.  I have a very large sitting room that will do, and my daughter loves Status Quo
Moritz: Listen my Lord, Status Quo are cabaret, they do medleys of their old songs live, and the like.  The only medleys you’ll find Adelangst dong are those involving several different types of girl or amplification equipment, but never the music mate, no way.  We are considering a Celebrity version of the tour next year where we play at Celebrity’s houses.
Q: Penshaw Bonerk from Ontario asks
Do you like any of the new music that’s out today?
Jim: well I like the new music we’re making but I don’t really know much about the new stuff. I’ve heard Coldplay with some guy moaning and whinging on about things. Doesn’t sound like much fun to me. That Robbie Williams guy keeps cropping up as well. People go completely crazy every time he appears on television, even before he’s done or sung a thing. To me he looks like the kind of chap you find working at motorway service station café. Can’t understand it myself.
Q: Cark Monnolly from Ipswich asks
Moritz, Is it true that back in the early 1990’s you nearly joined Deep Purple when Ian Gillan and Ritchie Blackmore had another fall out and Jon Lord had just seen Adelangst perform in London and tried to get the other band members interested but they were too busy to take notice so instead they decided to get rid of Ian Gillan for the while but then later when Ian rejoined the band you had a formal invitation to tour with the band and get to know the songs just in case Ritchie decided to leave but in the end the band wanted a twiddey widdly guitarist so chose Joe Satriani instead?
Moritz: no.
Q: Richard Browning of Reading asks
Will a DVD of the Cal Jam be released? Being a famous fan, I was there on the day and I noticed some cameras at the event.
Jim: Famous fan? I’ve never heard of you. You have to hang around a bit more net time Richard to be classed as a famous fan, try coming to each gig in the front row and books yourself into the same hotel as the band, that usually helps. Anyway, the Cal Jam was a very difficult event to film, with Moritz and I being taken around the circuit on motorbikes. Indeed it was quite difficult to play the guitar as well. We couldn’t get a stage monitor fixed up to work properly in the cockpit of these bikes and we couldn’t hear a feed on our mobile phones because they weren’t loud enough, so we just had to start off a song near the stand where Steele, Bob and Malcolm were playing statically, and hope for the best as we sped off around the circuit. At one stage Moritz and I were still in the middle of Toe Grabber and as we came along the straight to where the static members of the band were playing we suddenly noticed that they had already started off the next song in the setlist, “The Mole”. I suppose it serves us right for going for an extended guitar solo without being able to indicate this to the rhythm section. That aside it was really quite an event, with all our American fans clapping and cheering us around the circuit. As for the filming, we had some on board cameras which were operating at the time, although they tended to look outwards rather than inwards towards me and Moritz. We’ve seen the footage and I have to admit that it looks a bit chaotic. It seems like on each lap Moritz and I completely forgot what was going on and the audience seem a bit confused as well. Altogether it’s just another screw up by our now infamous touring agent. I suppose we might release a DVD eventually, but it might take 31 years to get it right what with all the camera angles to look at! 

Webchat Feb 2005